Spring in Canada

Raindrops falling down
Dark clouds and windy skies
Lightning and thunder sounds
Dreaming of a different life

Life is Dark

Slimy, lying, cheating, thief
A no good for anything
My heart. A shattered mess
My life. Dark.

Mixed

Mixed feelings, like a stew
One minute happy, next hour sad
One day dance, One year sleep
Spinning 'round and 'round
Not moving, dizzy with fear

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So bright and happy
Full of life
But only on the outside
Inside
It's a rollercoaster
Mostly down

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Shifty eyes and a broken tongue
That is how my life is run

Night is where
My demons
Come out to play
The dark humorless
Laughs and fingers
Leaving red lines
I just stare
There is
Nothing I can do
They take over

I can now fly

Dark. Spinning. Ragged breathing. Falling. Thud. I open my eyes. I can hear the beeping of the machine. Then I see it. I’m in the hospital. There’s an IV in my right hand. I blink rapidly. My breathing is shallow almost forced really. My body aches all over. I look down at my legs, they are in casts under a flimsy sheet. I take a deeper breath but instantly regret it. My chest feels like it’s on fire. All I can hear is the steady beeping and muffled speech outside the door at the far side of my room. I am so tired but every time I close my eyes the memories come rushing in. (flashback) -yelling- “YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME?!” -slam- -crash- Lamp on the ground -sobbing- -yelling again- “YOU CHEATED ON ME?! HOW COULD YOU?!” -slap- -running- -going up stairs- Roof. Dark. Spinning. Ragged breathing. Falling. Thud. (Flashback ended) I could still feel the air rushing past me…the ground closer and closer with each passing second. The tears being flung upwards as my numb body plunged down. I shake my head. I don’t understand. How am I here? door opens mum walks in places flowers on the table walks out It’s now been 3 weeks since I jumped. I’m still in the same bed. Only getting up if I have to. Mum hasn’t come back. Doubt she will. Best friend came. She tried talking with me but ended up leaving in tears. I stare at the clock. Wishing that I wasn’t here. Nurse came in and said I was moving rooms. Just down the hall though. I share this room with a boy. Looks like he broke his arm. I’ve lost count of how long I’ve been here but I haven’t talked at all. Doctor and dad came today to chat. They said that I could go home. Packing Shuffling Car door shuts Driving We arrive home. Brother is on the Xbox in his room. I go to mine and curl up on the bed. I fall asleep. I dream. Falling. I open my eyes. I can’t so this anymore. I get up. Bathroom Open Pour them down Drink water Sink to the floor I close my eyes and find peace I now can fly