Spring in Canada

Raindrops falling down
Dark clouds and windy skies
Lightning and thunder sounds
Dreaming of a different life

Life is Dark

Slimy, lying, cheating, thief
A no good for anything
My heart. A shattered mess
My life. Dark.

Mixed

Mixed feelings, like a stew
One minute happy, next hour sad
One day dance, One year sleep
Spinning 'round and 'round
Not moving, dizzy with fear

Untitled

So bright and happy
Full of life
But only on the outside
Inside
It's a rollercoaster
Mostly down

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Shifty eyes and a broken tongue
That is how my life is run

Night is where
My demons
Come out to play
The dark humorless
Laughs and fingers
Leaving red lines
I just stare
There is
Nothing I can do
They take over

I can now fly

Dark. Spinning. Ragged breathing. Falling. Thud. I open my eyes. I can hear the beeping of the machine. Then I see it. I’m in the hospital. There’s an IV in my right hand. I blink rapidly. My breathing is shallow almost forced really. My body aches all over. I look down at my legs, they are in casts under a flimsy sheet. I take a deeper breath but instantly regret it. My chest feels like it’s on fire. All I can hear is the steady beeping and muffled speech outside the door at the far side of my room. I am so tired but every time I close my eyes the memories come rushing in. (flashback) -yelling- “YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME?!” -slam- -crash- Lamp on the ground -sobbing- -yelling again- “YOU CHEATED ON ME?! HOW COULD YOU?!” -slap- -running- -going up stairs- Roof. Dark. Spinning. Ragged breathing. Falling. Thud. (Flashback ended) I could still feel the air rushing past me…the ground closer and closer with each passing second. The tears being flung upwards as my numb body plunged down. I shake my head. I don’t understand. How am I here? door opens mum walks in places flowers on the table walks out It’s now been 3 weeks since I jumped. I’m still in the same bed. Only getting up if I have to. Mum hasn’t come back. Doubt she will. Best friend came. She tried talking with me but ended up leaving in tears. I stare at the clock. Wishing that I wasn’t here. Nurse came in and said I was moving rooms. Just down the hall though. I share this room with a boy. Looks like he broke his arm. I’ve lost count of how long I’ve been here but I haven’t talked at all. Doctor and dad came today to chat. They said that I could go home. Packing Shuffling Car door shuts Driving We arrive home. Brother is on the Xbox in his room. I go to mine and curl up on the bed. I fall asleep. I dream. Falling. I open my eyes. I can’t so this anymore. I get up. Bathroom Open Pour them down Drink water Sink to the floor I close my eyes and find peace I now can fly

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"She thinks about the future but knows that she'll never have a perfect life. I mean just look at her. She is far from perfect and doesn't deserve anything good"

Tries

"She tries so hard to fight but it takes so much out of her. She cries herself to sleep each night but the sleep doesn't come easy. She doesn't understand why after this long it still hurts so bad"

Wanting

"Sleep...what is sleep? Happiness...what is happiness? I know not of what is good. I've been surrounded by evil, unable to escape. In chains. In pain. Wanting death"

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"Shaking, shoved in the corner, on the floor unable to move. Scared. Crying. Body aching."

She Dances

"The eye lids were heavy. But she didn't want to sleep. If she slept she could probably wake once again. She didn't want to be awake either, feeling all the pain. Earphones go in. Music goes on. She dances...forgetting that she wants to die"

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"I've often wondered what would happen if I just got up and left. Not saying a word to anyone. Just go. Leave everything and everyone behind. But then I think of you. I think of the way you get scared shitless when something I sent sounds like a note. I think about how if I decided to finally fly into the sky, you would be right behind me. You think that you are a burden and ask too much of me. In fact that's what I feel about me to you. I'm never happy. And I crave you all the time. I have a thing for poking you... I hope you don't get annoyed by me... I hope you won't use me... nor abuse me... I know I shouldn't worry but I do..."

Death's Song Has Been Sung

Say hello to days ahead Say goodbye to words unsaid I am no longer living free But rather under lock and key I am a slave to my own ways And all time is in a daze No matter how hard you try All I hear is a lie I have shut everyone out When asked what this is about Now for the truth to be told Listen because I am quite bold Once I loved a man In a far off land But a joker was he and fooling only me so here I like, ready for one and death’s song has been sung

Him

"And she looked at him, really looked at him. Not in a sexual way but rather just seeing the way he was. He had a stray freckle just below his ear. He had a small scar above his eye. His nose slanted down and then outwards a tiny bit. His shoulders were broad, but soft. She ran her eyes down his arms and a gasp escaped from her mouth. The battle scars were many. Some were snow white and others an angry red. She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. A tear fell down her face."

Outwards Good

"The screaming matches, the fist fights. The raw eyes and the red knuckles The night turns to morning All goes to outward good No one knows about The screaming matches, the fist fights"

Light

"The light fell across the room. It painted the walls a soft gold. It lit up the young girls face, making the tears glisten. Her fingers fumbled and ever so slowly drew the artwork across her skin"