Sunday, January 25, 2015

Spring in Canada

Raindrops falling down
Dark clouds and windy skies
Lightning and thunder sounds
Dreaming of a different life

Life is Dark

Slimy, lying, cheating, thief
A no good for anything
My heart. A shattered mess
My life. Dark.

Mixed

Mixed feelings, like a stew
One minute happy, next hour sad
One day dance, One year sleep
Spinning 'round and 'round
Not moving, dizzy with fear

Untitled

So bright and happy
Full of life
But only on the outside
Inside
It's a rollercoaster
Mostly down

Untitled

Shifty eyes and a broken tongue
That is how my life is run

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Night is where
My demons
Come out to play
The dark humorless
Laughs and fingers
Leaving red lines
I just stare
There is
Nothing I can do
They take over

Monday, January 5, 2015

I can now fly

Dark. Spinning. Ragged breathing. Falling. Thud. I open my eyes. I can hear the beeping of the machine. Then I see it. I’m in the hospital. There’s an IV in my right hand. I blink rapidly. My breathing is shallow almost forced really. My body aches all over. I look down at my legs, they are in casts under a flimsy sheet. I take a deeper breath but instantly regret it. My chest feels like it’s on fire. All I can hear is the steady beeping and muffled speech outside the door at the far side of my room. I am so tired but every time I close my eyes the memories come rushing in. (flashback) -yelling- “YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME?!” -slam- -crash- Lamp on the ground -sobbing- -yelling again- “YOU CHEATED ON ME?! HOW COULD YOU?!” -slap- -running- -going up stairs- Roof. Dark. Spinning. Ragged breathing. Falling. Thud. (Flashback ended) I could still feel the air rushing past me…the ground closer and closer with each passing second. The tears being flung upwards as my numb body plunged down. I shake my head. I don’t understand. How am I here? door opens mum walks in places flowers on the table walks out It’s now been 3 weeks since I jumped. I’m still in the same bed. Only getting up if I have to. Mum hasn’t come back. Doubt she will. Best friend came. She tried talking with me but ended up leaving in tears. I stare at the clock. Wishing that I wasn’t here. Nurse came in and said I was moving rooms. Just down the hall though. I share this room with a boy. Looks like he broke his arm. I’ve lost count of how long I’ve been here but I haven’t talked at all. Doctor and dad came today to chat. They said that I could go home. Packing Shuffling Car door shuts Driving We arrive home. Brother is on the Xbox in his room. I go to mine and curl up on the bed. I fall asleep. I dream. Falling. I open my eyes. I can’t so this anymore. I get up. Bathroom Open Pour them down Drink water Sink to the floor I close my eyes and find peace I now can fly